Sick & Tired.
Jesus what an awful title that is! But it’s true, to a certain degree. Maybe just tired, though, and not so much sick. But regardless…. I’ve been bed-ridden three days in the past two weeks. It’s very strange, and I’m quite confused over it.
Lately, if I had a long (if fun) day—like when I had my Japanese cooking class (the class was only a half day, but I was busy before hand), or if I have a quick trip to see my family and go to a vegan street fair—I’m absolutely shot the next day. I mean, totally wiped. The other night, I woke up to use the bathroom, and I had a bad case of the chills. This isn’t unusual and seems to be a holdover from when I had cancer treatment almost two years ago, but the other night I took note: I was in my jammies, sleeping in flannel sheets (I know it’s summer but the high here lately has been 64°F), under a weighted blanket, and with two dogs on the bed. I should not be shivering. But I was—and badly. Like I said, this isn’t unusual, and it seems to happen only when I’m extra tired. But….I didn’t even do anything the day before that would make me tired. My husband and I went to a doctor’s appointment, had lunch and went to a Japanese grocery store. I mean, sure I get excited whenever I’m at Yaoya-San Market—look! A miso strainer!!—but still; I didn’t expect to be in bed all day. I’ve stopped drinking alcohol and diet soda; now it’s just green tea and water so…. what’s going on?
I saw my GP a few weeks ago and he said he thought it was my chronic pain. I have permanent nerve damage in my tongue from cancer surgery (the tumor was pressed up against the nerve; the damage was pretty much unavoidable in the end) and while the pain is controlled through various medications…. I realize that it takes my body and brain a good amount of energy to constantly monitor the pain throughout the day. And when I say “a good amount” I’m talking 20-25% of my energy. But still…. that’s not enough to keep me in bed all day just because I had a field day at the Japanese market. And if it is, …my god, what’s gonna happen when I go shopping in Japantown?? I may be in bed for a week!!
Okay, so… it’s not my thyroid; I’ve had the checked… so what? What is this? It’s not like I feast on McDonalds all day, drink liters of soda, smoke, have a high-stress job, have four crying toddlers at home, or am filing for bankruptcy or anything like that. Is it just the pain?
Anyway, I have no answers. I’m just…writing. I’m not even complaining; I have a good life; I’d take chronic nerve pain any day over…you know… death. I’m a happy person; I’m just… tired. A lot.
And even though I have a good diet, I could probably spiffy it up a bit. Keep it vegan of course, but perhaps I could do with less fried seitan chickin and vegan waffles and donuts and more brown rice, miso soup, and bok choy. Not that there is anything wrong with fried seitan chickin, vegan waffles and donuts—cuz there ain’t—but maybe my body needs a bit of a cleanse…? Okay ick. I hate that word; reminds me of soggy zucchini noodles or cayenne lemonade. Let’s strike the word cleanse (cleanse; there, much better.); maybe my body just needs more green vegetables and brown rice and less sugar and flour.
We’ll just leave it at that and see what happens.